At a conference or networking event, I am making small talk and someone says, "So, how long have you been working at Cypress Hills?"
"17 years, this year," I say proudly.
"Whoa, that's quite a while" with a mixture of awe and pity.
It seems no one stays in the same organization that long nowadays. It has not been without its low points. A while back, I reached one of those points. You know what I am talking about, one of those times when you need to take stock and reflect on some harder questions. I was doing okay, but looking back I see that I was showing classic signs of burn out and needed new self-care if I was going to continue.
Working for a small nonprofit in a low income community can be stressful. When you are dependent on the latest government grants and are committed to grassroots strategies, the margins are razor thin. We do more with less, and sometimes there is not enough. I will admit there are times when I look with a wandering eye at the casual millennial in their chic offices with endless latte's and wonder if I took a wrong turn somewhere in my life.
What to do?
There are certainly some practical things that any small nonprofit like mine can take to promote sustainability. Recently we added a work-from-home policy that allows for some much needed flexibility to do some of the quieter and often-neglected technical tasks. We have a generous vacation policy. We have a "fun" committee that plans events to lift everyone's spirits. These are baby steps we can take, but there are only so many latte machines you can buy. There has to be something more to self-care than adding random perks -- as important as those might be.
The true self-care I received that pulled me out of my funk was something quite a bit deeper. The good news is that what I did can be done on a budget, even a small one like mine. It started with answering some hard questions.
- Mission. Does the purpose of my organization feed me? Does it really get me excited, and in my heart do I believe that it really matters? Sounds lofty, but I really think it should, particularly if you are choosing to do work for more than the perks. If the mission doesn't inspire you, you might be at the wrong place, and no amount of perks are really going to meet that need.
- Growth. Do I know where my career is headed and do I have a supervisor who is thinking with me about my growth? This is more than mobility. I find that everyone wants to "move up" in their career but not as many folks want to truly grow. Mobility follows growth, and growth is free and readily available in almost any context. It might be as simple as fine tuning my craft - maybe writing a blog post about what I am learning. Growth involves setting yourself on a trajectory toward ever increasing excellence. This process takes effort, but it is a net gain to one's energy and outlook.
- Imperfections. Am I okay with things not always going well? If you want perfection, go build a Lexus or something that doesn't talk back. If you are investing in people, it's going to be messy, particularly if you are focused on such lofty concepts as love, justice and equity. Sometimes it's two steps forward and one step back, and everyone in this business needs to ask themselves if they are ok with that.
- Community. Do I have colleagues who deeply respect me as a person? Can we laugh together? Can I tell them when I am overwhelmed? Can I ask for a hug when I need it? Do we have the courage to talk through our natural conflicts? This has nothing to do with being an introvert or extrovert. Its about the belief that I am not alone.
- Biological rhythms. What does my body need? Paying attention to my aging body and its needs definitely matters. This can be done in a million ways, but you have to find something that works for you. For me, it was integrated into my next question.
- Safe haven. Can I walk away and release my undone work? Have I made peace with the fact that life is limited and I will never "get it all done." Do I schedule in those blocks of time to do what feeds me? I wrote a five hour block of time into my life every week -- it seemed like a radical move -- but it was absolutely essential to finding answers to all these questions. I took time away from both family obligations and work obligations and focused entirely on my own health and wellness. Believe me, your life is worth 5 hours/week.
- Spiritual self-awareness. Knowing where you fit in the universe changes a lot of things. You and I are not the center of all things. It really helped me to clarify what I am, what I am not, and why I am here. It's amazing what happens when you can answer those questions in a satisfying way. It becomes easier to say no and feel good about it. It's also more satisfying to say yes as well.
